These are the least fun to write, but that’s only because I know the worst parts of myself and I have to choose – every single day – to hate myself for the worst parts, or love myself despite them. That struggle makes for some good poetry.
1
emotions always change
do not hold
do not push
accept existence
2
anxiety
in stomach
halts breath –
it doesn’t flow
til cat slinks by
3
promising myself kindness
relieves some of anxiety’s
p
r
e
s
s
u
r
e
4
why shouldn’t i think about Death?
it’s the longest thing i’ll ever do
5
depression
pulled me back to bed
i hid that Self
under blankets cold
6
i lose interest
so quickly
in people
in things –
then the sun rises
7
quivering heart
now tatterdemalion
renewal comes from within
8
dark thought in calm mind
looms like raven
perched among the cherry blossoms
9
unwanted thoughts come in meditation
don’t chase them!
thoughts are not truth
10
listen closely
closer
what whispers your heart
when your head is quiet
11
tension chokes me –
i want to scream something true
but all i do is cry
12
late sunday
feeling too much
remembering the old thoughts of what to do when this happens
& the desire to drown everything out
but i stop it
like a dam
this needs to be felt
these feelings are your teachers
they want to make you better
don’t drown them
or yourself
just feel
you’re safe
let them move thru you so you don’t have to hold this hot pain
anymore
& they will leave nothing behind
but these burning words
13
i have
a body
a mind
& memories
but
i am not these things
14
depression tries to uproot
but cold damp earth underfoot
re connects
15
basking in awareness –
all that has begun has already ended