Hello, dear readers, and Happy Vernal Equinox!
To celebrate, I’m sharing some of the poetry and haiku that moved through me this winter solstice. It’s certainly been a long, cold, lonely winter, as George Harrison might say. Now’s the time to come out of our caves – roaring!
1
cloudy morning post solstice
birds fly before moon –
already she wanes
2
not an ounce of guilt
nor a spark of gaslighting –
xmas ‘21
3
tho these windows be new
winter wind on the outside
smells familiar
4
one flake visits
stays floating near window
as i embody this moment
thoughts of boundaries
of living life cloistered
like in a snow globe
looking out
but it’s not always this way
one day my soul will dance
with that flake
but for now it’s enough
to see her dance with her sisters
from insides warm
5
trying to send
my depressed parts
love
& i weep
knowing
i loved myself so little
that i never wanted to sit
in grey december cold
again
6
how can i love unconditioned
when the love taught me
was conditioned
7
more than loving
an other
i would allow this mind
to love this heart
8
staving off breakdown
over busway
train tracks & pavement –
a suitable destination
then homeless elder
pushing cart blesses me
& sending him love
stops my jumping
9
there’s a point when this
sensitive solitudinarian schtick
gets old
& i just want to connect
10
reading poetry at bar
where fingers last danced
over denim covering your thighs
there was a time
you assaulted my mind –
i had to assault my wrists
to distract from thoughts of you –
now i don’t need to
remember to forget you
it just happens
like how all esplanades
eventually end
11
reading the drinks menu
she shivers
& he doesn’t offer his arms
12
comparison is inherent in judgement
trauma keeps you unconscious
forgive ego for operating from both
13
he’s got a great leather jacket
& the kind of hair worthy of poetry
he cuffs tenderly sleeves
of her grey steelers tshirt
& taylor is singing
& i want that
& tho i know the i
who is wanting
is only egoic
i don’t know which
that i want
& once again
i’m a few heaving breaths away
from a breakdown at the bar
14
i could be held in
one hundred hugs but their arms
will never be yours
15
everyone sings a song i don’t know
at mario’s shadyside
then paul comes up to me
because
“you don’t normally see people journaling at the bar”
& we say we love each other
it was honest & true –
the Holy Self in an other
16
o drunk girls
just discovering your limits
may you be blessed tonight
17
bodies still glow beautiful
beneath belvedere’s disco lights
18
dancing with the pain –
the cries
become a yawn
become a laugh
again
19
when the mind allows
the body to feel
what the soul knows
you find bliss
20
stum’bling home
kissing by red church doors
you were a blessing
i denied
21
your thighs taste familiar
i remember
we repeat on forever
22
pull me in
& for a moment
our names are the only words we know
23
you held me
& wouldn’t let go
i felt my heart open –
& then i woke up
24
lying in bed
waiting all night
for sleep that never comes
25
you sparkled like glitter
but i haven’t seen the shine
since you left here
26
it’s nothing
really
but sometimes
i remember
how you’d get in bed
27
as you go
do you still rush
with less home waiting
or do you pause &
take leisurely scenic routes
do you allow yourself
the softness
that woke with you
under blankets
in beds unmade
28
healing came when i
saw the bus you’d take to town
& i didn’t cry
29
before i learned you moved here
to get closer to an other
i remember driving your car
wishing the roads were a bit more icy
then david & freddie spoke & i
pulled over & cried
under pressure of deceit
dishonesty
& the flagrant disrespect of truth
(although i wouldn’t have called it that then
because i was still playing the victim)
all that to say
i heard them again today
& for the first time
i had a new moment to remember:
the moment of surrender
& Unity with All
instead of a night
where i would have
separated fully
my Self
from All That Is
i will never stop giving my Self
one last chance
because i have glimpsed
Peace on Earth
& more than anything
i wish i knew better words
so i could write it
& then you would understand
when the veil of separation is lifted
30
sitting by lemon tree
Infinite Intelligence
opens the way
31
i am forgiving myself
in the moments when
i am not
my Self
32
we are constantly creating
because Creation is in us all
33
uncover your eyes –
the light of heaven
is always shining in you
34
once you understand
that you will never understand
you understand
35
my heart is pink today
like soft clouds before sunrise
lays down its path
36
people overwhelmed
by sunrises
are my kind of people –
love them
37
find yourself friends who
make you feel full & don’t mind
walking in the rain
38
woman & child
splash in puddles –
warmest new year’s day in memory
Thanks for reading! May you be blessed <3