the power of “no”

little girl crying and sitting on meadow

Happy Friday, dear reader!

Remember when you were a kid and if you didn’t want to do something you had absolutely no problem saying no?

Like when your parents tried to dress you up in nice clothes or tried to get you to eat weird foods like peanut butter or sauerkraut? Not at the same time – that is weird.

Then, somewhere along the lines, we became adults and decided to say yes to e v e r y t h i n g .

This is natural; we as humans want to be liked. We want to please, and it was likely learned at an early age that if we were pleasant and agreeable, and said yes to our parents’ requests we made them happy and kept the peace.

But that’s a whole other blog post for another day.

Saying yes to everything might seem like the nice thing to do, but it can make us feel used and stressed out by our commitments.

Today, Five Minutes in the Morning has a prompt to help us figure out when to say yes and when to politely decline.

Take a piece of paper and write down whatever it is you’ve been asked to do. Is it water your neighbor’s cat or feed their plants while they’re away? Is it work late to get a project done? Is it eating peanut butter and sauerkraut? Whatever it is, write it at the top of the page.

Then, divide the rest of the page into three columns, and in the left-most column write three questions:

  • Do I really, in my hear of hearts, want to do this?
  • Does what I have been asked to do align with my goals and values?
  • Will I feel good doing this?

In the next two columns, write your answer – yes or no. Be honest and take your time thinking about the answer.

If the nos outnumber the yeses, then you know what to do.

Here’s what I wrote:


Do I really, in my heart of hearts, what to do this?Yes, I love helping people, & the vaccine callers are often appreciative
Does what I have been asked to do align with my goals and values?Yes, it helps me dissolve separation & I can use each call as a spiritual practice, plus I’ll make money to sustain myself – & I’m not just doing it for the money.
Will I feel good doing this?Yes, as long as I balance. Today can be a long day. Tomorrow I can stay +45 min. Thursday until @ least 5. Friday, we’ll see.
So I guess I’m working late this week. I can find time to be spiritual @ work – I already have.

What’s something you can say no to today, dear reader? I know it may seem selfish, but saying no to something else gives you the chance to say yes to yourself.

Giving yourself the space to say yes to yourself empowers you to say yes to others when it really matters.

Try it today!

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