january poetry & haiku

Happy Sunday, dear reader! I hope the day finds you well.

I’m sitting here watching the snowfall making the world look like Narnia, and I love it.

We’re taking a lil break from the prompts of Five Minutes in the Morning today, but don’t worry, they’ll return on Monday.

I wanted to take a break today because with yesterday’s post I achieved a goal I set for myself on the first day of 2021 – to post to this blog every day for 30 days.

It just goes to show you that setting goals does work.

I’m forever grateful for my friends for getting me Five Minutes in the Morning. Without it, I’m not sure what the last 30 days of posts would have looked like. Probably just more honest poetry.

Speaking of poetry, I think the best way to spend the last day of January is to share some of the poetry and haiku that have moved through me this month.

As I always say, I don’t know if these are good or bad, and it doesn’t matter. What matters is they’re honest.

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1
winter sunsets
wash hillsides
with empty light
lacking the warmth of spring

2
the week you returned the sun did too,
like it finally had a reason to shine,
& for 7 glorious days the earth was alive again
everything glowed –
vibrancy betraying the winter season

but you hadn’t even left when the snow returned

i walked alone while the city slowly woke,
the grey skies powdered the evergreens –
there was still a beauty to it all,
like each flake was a spotlight on memories
of moments walked these streets
we would have to walk alone now
but at least we were doing that together

i sat & took off my leather gloves to write this moment

the breath escaping my nose danced with the falling flakes
but i wasn’t cold,
your love was inside me –
had always been inside me –
your warmth reminded me:
God is the Love with which i forgive

if you could forgive me
for starting a fire i forgot to tend
then i knew forgiveness was inside me too
when the sun brings back the spring
buried in these dusted magenta leaves
it will shine on my love
my forgiveness

but until then
i’ll put my gloves back on
& walk up the hill thru the slow-mo snow
while the city wakes
oblivious to the miracle that is your existence

3
i dove too deep
into your ocean
& when your waves washed me ashore
i couldn’t breathe anymore

4
standing in the dark living room
for the last time
my feet feeling a carpet
more stain than beige
listening to the sounds of the street i no longer knew
of voices i didn’t recognize saying
i love you
i smiled, remembering there is still love in the world
even as ours was becoming what it was meant to be
the night we emptied the house we shared

5
contemplating kegels
three hours before the new year arrives
when something clenches my throat
is it this poem?
or is it all unrequited longings?
it’s that old idea of separation, but –
dear ego –
we aren’t alone
you’re here
making me feel the sad kind of lonely

100 years ago the decade roared in
this one comes screaming
will this be the last poem of the year?
that depends
on how much i drink
or if i even stay up
i have no desire to watch any balls drop
no desire to see this decade mature
but growth is inevitable –
it only stops when we die

so i release these words from my kegeled throat
& the new year comes

6
january monday –
snow lays on sleepy slopes
glowing brighter than a sun clouded
feeling the space between
each house
each lamppost
each of us

7
losing something you never found –
the heartbreak of falling out of love

8
i remember how we still made each other tea
even when we were sleeping in separate beds
like we were trying to make sure we slept well without the other
now my heart howls for the love i gave up
& would love nothing more
than to share a cuppa with you again

9
white hands turned red –
from washing or winter?
what have they held,
& would they hold mine?

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Have a wonderful Sunday, dear reader! May February bring you exactly what you need.